Change begins with…

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
~ Rumi

Change begins within …

When I was a superintendent, I would call my husband at the end of a busy workday and say to him, “Hi, hon.  I’ve gotta go visit mom (who was in a nursing home).  (Big sigh).  I’ll see you at 7:30.”

I wanted mom better.  I wanted her to be strong and independent again.  I did not want the responsibility of “overseeing” her care.
I wanted something to change—others to change.

• “If only mom would get better.”
• “Other family members just need to come visit more often.”
• “The staff at work have got to support me more and step up better when I have to be gone.”

Yes, I knew how to make things better and it all involved others doing things differently.

But what I have learned is that the only person I can really change is me.  And that’s where it had to begin…

I didn’t want my visits with mom to sound like obligations to myself or others.  I wanted the time I spent with mom to come from a place of caring and love—not resentment.

So I started by thinking about how I could change my language so that I “showed up” for these visits as caring and loving.

That is when I stopped saying, “I’ve gotta go…”  and changed it to, “I want to go…”

It didn’t really change the situation.  It just changed my attitude about the situation.

AND it invited others into joining me in positive ways rather than feeling coerced or “guilted” into a sense of “obligation.”

It was a small change in language but it made a huge difference in how I showed up to mom—and to others.

What small changes in language can you make that could create big, positive differences for yourself and others?