Coaching, like life, is all about relationships
More than twelve years ago, the National Staff Development Council initiated a crazy project. Dennis Sparks, then executive director, thought that every principal and superintendent in high poverty schools should have the benefit of a coach to help them do their hard work of school reform. Was I interested? I was a successful school administrator and looking for a new opportunity, but I had absolutely no knowledge about coaching except that Dennis said it was life-changing and I liked to help people and systems change. It was insane for me to consider such an off-the-wall idea, but I knew in my gut that this was the chance of a lifetime.
Since then I have learned some wonderful lessons from my coaching that have helped me form deeper relationships in my own life.
In coaching I learned that when people focus on their strengths and take action from that vantage point, they flourish. So in my relationships with my adult daughters, I stopped trying to make them “perfect” by harping on the things they weren’t doing right (at least in my eyes!). Instead, I began to notice and celebrate all the things they were doing so well. It helped me show up as a caring friend rather than a meddling mother.
In coaching I learned that committed listening is a gift that our client’s crave. So now I try to “just listen” to a friend orclose family member without my “expert hat” on. The gift to me is that I am accepted by them as a highly trusted, wise friend, and I haven’t done anything but listen!
In coaching I learned that “being” is as important as “doing.” We help our clients get clear about their core values and life goals so that they can show up authentically in whatever actions they take. Now when I want to have an important conversation with a friend or colleague, I carefully examine my own intentions and goals first. This helps me let go of emotional baggage and allows my authentic self to show through more clearly.
I believe the richness of life is measured by the quality of the relationships we have. By spending time in building relationships we add joy and meaning to our lives!
Marceta Reilly, PCC, is a leadership coach and faculty member for Coaching For Results. She is co-author with Linda Gross Cheliotes of the book, Coaching Conversations: Transforming Your School One Conversation At a Time, which is on the Corwin Press best seller list. The same co-authors now have a second book published entitled Coaching Conversations in Your Daily Practice which tells stories of school leaders who have successfully implemented Coach Approach strategies in their leadership.
Comments on this entry are closed.