Recently I’ve been listening to a lot of music by singer-songwriter-coach Barbara McAfee. Some lyrics I love to reference with my clients are from a song entitled, “Who You Gonna Be?”
Here are the lyrics:
Who you gonna be while you do what you do?
How you gonna show up while you’re passing through?
I’m living in this question, you can too.
Who you gonna be while you do what you do?
This song reminds me and my clients about what is most important in any relationship: It is how you show up. Being intentional about the way you show up communicates your message better than any words you say.
So I always work with my clients to pay attention to their body language, voice tone, posture, office setting and cultural details before worrying about the words they use. If they get the body language right for the message they want to convey, their communication will be clear.
On the other hand, if they have the exact words but the body language does not align with those words, their message is lost. Or even worse, it is distorted or hurtful to the situation.
They may not remember what you do or say
But people will remember how they felt along the way
It is the emotional wake that people remember about you—not your exact words.
So when you are engaging in those evaluation conferences, spend time beforehand considering how you want to show up. Caring? Committed? Supportive? Determined? What emotional wake will you create? One that motivates your staff or leaves them feeling empty?
How will people feel long after your conversation?
–Song lyrics by Barbara McAfee from While You’re Alive album
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